Mamamia Beauty & Lifestyle Features

Deni has written lifestyle and beauty content for Mamamia – including a first-person article about an obsession with filler and Botox.

“I needed more filler to feel like myself.” For 4 years, I was addicted to Botox and lip filler.


Trying out new trends and treatments was all part of a day’s work during my role as a writer for a women’s magazine in London. PR executives for beauty clinics would often take me out for fancy lunches, pitching a new product or service I had to review. As I became more established in my career, the offers got increasingly extravagant until, one day, I got offered lip fillers and Botox.

Only a few days prior had I discussed the rise of lip fillers with a friend of mine which had piqued my interest. Kylie Jenner was all the rage, and her lips did look amazing, if not a little OTT.

The following week I went for my lip injections requesting something more natural-looking and, wow, was I impressed. In the clinic, the practitioner also found areas of my face that he could administer Botox to, for a more ‘refreshed’ appearance. I went for that too.

When I got over the feeling of my new lips appearing obvious, I settled into the look and became obsessed with maintaining it. My self-image morphed into the new me. When my lips deflated, I felt like I needed more filler to feel like myself. I never let them get back to their normal state for the next three years.

I would count down the weeks until my regular clinic allowed me to get them done again, and if I couldn’t wait any longer, I went somewhere else. There was always another clinic willing to offer free treatment in exchange for coverage of any sort, whether a review of their new skincare line or laser facial. If I needed my filler done too, they’d be happy to include it. It wasn’t a big deal.

Originally published in Mamamia. Read the feature online here.

‘I told my family about my pregnancy early. Then I was sent a “thoughtful reminder”.’

Originally published in Mamamia. Read the feature online here.

Go back to the Portfolio homepage.

Deni Kirkova
No Comments

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.